Baby sleep is one of the most common conversations moms talk and ask about. This blog post will first address the common conversations/concerns I hear mom’s express in a group setting, or 1:1 as a doula. Secondly, I will share several of the parenting recommendations from How Babies Sleep - A Science-Based Guide to the Frist 365 Days and Nights, by Helen Ball. She is an anthropologist, scientist, and the director of Infancy & Sleep Centre at Durham University, UK.
There is much information on social media about how babies should sleep, what is best for baby, and what is best for mommy. Do we sleep train, contact nap, feed to sleep, or follow baby’s cues? Why does the information contradict and confuse? Moms share how they feel pressured to have their babies sleep a certain way, based on this information. Two ways I try to reassure, without telling moms how their baby should sleep:
1) Every baby, every family is special and unique. What works for them, may not work for you. Trust your mommy intuition, and do what feels best for you and your baby. When I read that there is one way for babies to sleep (or eat, or poop, or grow), I always question. Certainly safe sleep is crucial. Beyond safety, each baby is too unique for there to be only one right way.
2) Check the source. Much of the information on social media, or even in a google search, is opinion based or surmised based on 1 or 2 babies. “This worked for me, so it will work for all of you”. Sorry, that’s rubbish. I feel really strongly about science, research and information based from large sample sizes. I also like to remind moms, that the bell curve of healthy development is wide. Therefore, there are many “good” ways to raise your baby.
To summarize, the answer to all of these important and overwhelming questions may be:
“what feels right for you and your baby?” plus “what does baby development, science and (valid and reliable) research support?” equals “what combination of maternal instinct and evidence-based information works for you?”
Here is some information based on evolutionary, anthropological and biological perspectives. Helen Ball offers “Useful tips” for parents that summarizes the evidence.
Pages 55 – 62 seem most relevant based on recent conversation, so I will focus here. “If your baby falls sleep on you, and you intend to transfer to a crib, observe their movements and breathing to identify when they are in deep sleep when they are less likely to wake up.” Versus REM sleep (active sleep) when their eyes are moving under their eyelids.
She explains how there are two biological systems that regulate how babies and adults sleep. One is circadian rhythm, which does not begin to form until 4 months, and can take months longer to mature. She recommends using light in the morning when baby waking, but does not recommend daytime sleep in a dark room, unlike many common current recommendations. In fact during daylight, light, noise and activity can be more helpful for sleep while establishing circadian patterns.
The other biological sleep regulator is “sleep pressure” which basically means how tired we are. Babies sleep pressure builds more quickly than adults. Sleep pressure also changes based on the activity of the day and rapid baby brain development which causes an increase in active sleep and arousal, thus less deep sleep. She stresses that all babies and adults are different and prescribing a “one size fits all” prediction of how all babies at a certain age should sleep is unrealistic and may set parents up to feel confusion and failure.
In terms of helping the “overtired” baby who has high sleep pressure, but they are unable to calm down to sleep. Best way to help them is to create as calm an environment as possible, holding and rocking baby. This can be hard when parents are tired, frustrated, and stressed that baby is not sleeping.
There are many more tips in this book as well as Frequently Asked Questions at the end that address common questions about schedules, swaddling, contact naps, “wake windows” and “regressions”.
At the end of day (when you are tired and perhaps struggling), please remember that you are doing the best you can with a baby who is constantly growing and developing. Your baby is special and unique. This sleep development stage will get easier.
This is not a full endorsement of all of her recommendations. I do find the science of baby sleep development important for parents to recognize. With all books, each family has the choice to keep what feels right, and ignore the rest.
Ball, H. L. (2025). How babies sleep: A science-based guide to the first 365 days and nights. Balance / Grand Central Publishing.
